I asked MJ to give me a list of good times we’ve had together as a family. His first, 12 year old response, was a drab, uninterested one – “I don’t know any.” He didn’t even bother to look up from his computer video game to hand me this. I pressed him. He still didn’t bite. I guess I’ll ask him again when it’s not well past midnight. In the meantime, I can list a few right off of my head – whale watching on Rye Harbor, tonight’s haunted hayride in downtown Troy, soccer tournaments, particularly the 2008 Winchester tournament, playing car trivia, and our visit to the Bronx Zoo together back in 2002.
When I look at what all these events have in common, I realize they all included the four of us being there, together, and focused only on the task or activity at hand. None of these things included cell phones, work, responsibility, or alcohol. We were all very sober and present for these events and each of us genuinely wanted to be there. Another thing that made these events special is that we put our own special twist on each of them.
During our Bronx visit, we made things extra fun by trying to spot animals who were in the midst of taking a shit. While this may sound odd, it was particularly funny at the time, especially with our energies focused on potty training Jacob. When we’d spot an animal – such as a lion – squatting down to defecate, we’d laugh and I’d snap a picture. This game went on for hours and I was able to come away with a full slide show of various animals doing their thing. If you ask the boys about the Bronx Zoo today, the won’t be able to tell about their trip without mentioning animal poop.
We made the whale watching trip our own by spontaneously calling the entire family in for a mental health day. We ditched both school and work and just headed up to Rye one day to do something new and different. Favorite memories from that trip include Matt hanging onto the ceiling beams on the tiny sailboat for dear life – wanting desperately to throw up his Quiznos lunch sub. Eventually, he found his sea legs and we learned he had a great knack for taking pictures of hump back and sperm whales as they were rising to the surface to feed. Hours aboard the boat together were filled with laughs and funny moments, such as MJ pointing out a guy wearing a pot tee shirt with an M like the golden arches. The tee shirt read: Marijuana, over 1 billion stoned instead of McDonalds, over 1 billion served.
The 2008 soccer tournament was another spur of the moment decision. We were able to put together a team of local kids in less than three days and wound up placing second in the tournament. Of course, Matt felt obligated to get all the kids trophies and wound up spending over $100 to do so, but it was definitely worth it. We came in second place at that tournament after a double overtime situation that came down to penalty shots. With one less goal than the other team on penalty shots, we reluctantly walked away runner up champs. But every member of that team felt like a champion that day. Between round robin games the kids were able to jump in leaves, get their faces painted, and pig out on hotdogs and a variety of other foods. The end of the night brought medals and cake and ice cream. I will never forget the way Matt’s face beamed with pride that day. This was his team and they’d done him proud. It was then that Matt finally found something he was passionate about – coaching. What a job it is to find a passion, any passion. It’s something he’s stuck with ever since that tournament.
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